Waves.... bye, bye!

Hey Family!!

I hope that you are feeling well, better yet, living large and takin' charge! (Thanks BAPS) 😉

This weekend I came across something that really hit home for me, it went something like; "Usually what you need to write are the things that you need most". On many levels I feel that what I offer you as my reader are things that I've either conquered, witnessed, healed, processed or struggled with. My purpose is to share these testimonies with you in hopes that it too resonates! I do believe that what I'm writing at candacegreen.net is what you and I need most, love! Which brings me to this very post.

I am here to tell or remind you; never allow yourself to be in relationship or in communication with someone that makes you feel judged, misread, uncomfortable or like you have to prove yourself to earn their approval. Especially when they present themselves as being someone that wants to "help" you.

No Ma'am and No Sir! This is not ok. Relationships, vulnerability and life are already difficult enough, why make it more complicated by entertaining those that leave you walking away feeling horrible? I'll wait on you to come up with a good answer to this because I surely didn't come up with not even 1/2 of one good reason. Now don't misunderstand me here, I don't mean that we walk around looking for people to be our "Yes-men" or for those that won't be honest with us or call us to rise to a higher occasion when necessary for YOUR well-being (not theirs or their ego). We absolutely need transparency and accountability as human beings and in order to grow but this should also come in the form of support and with compassion. If it doesn't.... then I would suggest, "exiting stage left honey"...

Why, you ask?

You thought tough love was good, you say? Well, here is why. Simply because you do not have to. Wait, there is more...and you can choose to go where you are loved, encouraged, celebrated and where you get more advocacy than opposition. Someone being critical, tough or picking you apart yet calling it love is far from it, it is actually toxic.

I know we hear that term; "toxic" thrown around often but in-fact the behavior described above is. It is harmful, unpleasant and can be poisonous to your emotional, mental and physical health and overall self-esteem. Now why in the world would we want to give someone that kind of power especially when we have two feet to walk away and a mouth to advocate for ourselves? Why do we put up with this from people? Is it because we admire them? Want their approval? Do we think they are an expert in their field? Or do they have more education, social stature, money or more possessions than you do? If so, I'll tell you now, in complete love... that's LAME! How about doing the opposite? Take inventory of all that YOU are!! All that you have done, accomplished and your amazing qualities and exuberant personality!

Take inventory of how you work rooms, close deals, inspire others, raise your children, annihilate generational curses and simply show-up for yourself! Or as my girlfriend would say, "Stop sleeping on yourself"! Take inventory, honey! OF YOU!! WOW! Don't you just seem like someone remarkable, resilient, qualified, vibrant and valuable? Without flaw, no! Unteachable, absolutely not! Stagnant, never, not you! Evolving, yes! Open, yes! Graced by God & abundantly favored, allllaa that, YES! So, babe... the next time you find yourself believing that it is acceptable to sit with someone or somewhere that makes you feel less than or plain weighed down and uncertain; I recommend that you evaluate, own your part and if you see fit; remove yourself from the table.

I promise you; the Creator of Heaven and Earth will replace what you think you may be losing. He will connect you to those that truly SEE you, your intentions, desired results and encourage you on the journey. I know that I am here to support you!! Drop a "Yesss" below if this spoke to you and you'll take that inventory on yourself today! Have an incredibly amazing, uplifting and direction-shifting week! With love and sunshine, Candace