Posture... getting it straight!

Daily, I make it a point to recite affirmations with my baby girls. During our drive to school, my bright 5 & 3 year old daughters lead our mantra with affirming statements like; "I am beautiful, I am smart, I am talented" and their favorite, "I am COURAGEOUS!"

We wrap up with more declarations like;

"I love my skin, I love my hair, I love me, my family loves me, God loves me, Amen."

The girls' begin every day this way and although I nod and smile in agreement with my daughters, I honestly struggle with the like penetrating my own heart and mind. Even more difficulty sets in when we add on statements like, "I am enough, I am valued, I am worthy". This disconnection in my heart lets me know that I have obviously been deceived about who I am and that there is so much room for God to teach and heal me. It's interesting because on the surface, I "believe" for myself the same affirmations that I impress upon my sweet girls but when I rehearse my disappointments, trauma, unmet expectations, and poor choices, a huge wave of doubt sets in.

(Gots to be more careful about rehearsing the wrong things) This doubt causes me to see myself through the lenses of pain, instead of through more beneficial optics like the blessings, tenacity, good health, beauty, and growth that is so evident in my life.

These good things are clear as day, yet somehow I continue to settle in an internal disappointment that produces zero value-add but only more doubt which adds to believing lies about myself. These lies correlate my experiences or the behaviors/words of others and shape my view of self, making these things the sum of who I see in the mirror. Whew!

I am realizing that I have to turn the page and begin to take on a confidence in the very same posture that I speak over my daughters, for my very own life. I am tasking myself to live out John 14:14 and ask God for what I need/want.

Yes, ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it! (NLT) I ask Him for this posture, this confidence and to help me discredit the self-doubt and negativity before it takes root and drives my choices and outlook to paths that don't produce his love, light and healing.

...and then there is this verse, my personal declaration; Psalm 102:13, so that even when defeat, doubt and rejection creeps in to tell me who I am, I redirect my focus to a resolve that; I will "get up", have compassion for myself and trust that it is the time for God to show favor on my life. Knowing that God will favor, approve, esteem and advocate for me. He will recommend a more truthful way to see myself, life's situations and He will show me an understanding, a gentleness and kindness as He gives me HIS favoritism to cover me, even as I overcome my own darkness.

You will arise and have compassion on Zion,

for it is time to show favor to her; the appointed time has come. (NIV)

God's compassion, guidance and dedication to advancing me even when I am blinded is something I am still trying to comprehend. Yet, just as I impress upon my daughters the affirmations that I KNOW describe each of them and the value that I SEE in them, along with the worth that I am CERTAIN that they have, as their Mom I have this insight and unwavering assurance about who they are! I am convinced that I need to also accept that God will speak over me when I am indifferent, ambivalent or lacking faith, because as the one true living God, He knows, sees my worth and is certain of my value as his beloved daughter.

I know it's not always easy but when in doubt, we can choose to seek God's word and slowly but surely your language will be replaced with His language... you'll begin to rightly see yourself and your heart will begin to smile again.

Rest,

God has placed the path(s) for you to find your way suddenly and amazingly! He revives dead things and just the same he will develop/provide for you... producing restoration and encouragement. He assigned you to riches, so that you may soar, remembering God's favor! (from my personal study-time interpretation)

Be well, beautiful!

-Candace